#4 – And then losing it…

On my return from Hong Kong, we went for the routine pre-natal visit. I knew something was amiss from Dr. Y’s solemn expression as she listened intently for the fetus’ heartbeat. She tried again the second time and when she could not detect the heartbeat, she broke the heartbreaking news to us. My heart just sank. I just could not believe that something so precious could be given to us and then taken away almost so immediately. S was with me at the clinic. He did not say much but his presence was comforting enough.

As if that’s not enough, I sought second opinion just to be 100% sure before the Dilation & Curretage procedure. Unfortunately, there’s no “pleasant surprise”. He asked if I’ve had a fall or fallen ill etc and my answer was negative. He too, could not give me an acceptable answer for the miscarriage. On sensing that I could not reconcile with this, he recommended sending the fetus specimen for a chromosomal test after the procedure. On discussing with S, we decided to let it be and not pursue any further.

I cried every night to sleep the following nights leading up to the D&C day. When it’s all over, I felt a deep sense of emptiness. I was advised to let me body recuperate for 3 months before trying again. I rested at home for 2 weeks before returning to work. Little did I know that more pain and grief were on their way…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s