#127 – Where Has My Daughter Gone?

L is usually a darling sweetheart who is loved by everyone she meets. But this day, she seemed to be a different person. She ran into the lift without waiting for me and when I admonished her, she did not ant to have any eye contact with me.

Before entering the house, I wanted to “settle the unfinished business” with her but she kept running away. To avoid creating a scene outside, I got her into the house to talk some sense into her. And it continues…

Not only did she run away from me, she kept humming tunes to “shut my voice” out. It was so annoying! When I held onto her, she even talked back at me! I couldn’t believe my ears and I was utterly shocked at her defiance. I smacked her hand twice but she didn’t seem to be afraid of the punishment. When it happened again, I smacked the back of her hand really hard and that’s when she started crying. I also then got to know that she lied to me regarding finishing the worksheet that I asked her to do the night before.

I was really disappointed and at the same time, furious. I threw the worksheets out of the front door and asked her to finish it outside before coming back in. She was wailing by then. I allowed her to come in but only at the doorstep. She had to finish it there. Let me qualify why I did what I did: I would be totally fine if she had told me that she needed more time to complete the worksheet. I got really upset cos of her lie and bad behavior. To me, that’s totally unacceptable.

When S came home at that time, he started another round of scolding and L, crying. Another punishment for her; she was not allowed to play with her toys until we said so. S also did not bring her out for a promised bus ride. He did not want to bring her out for dinner with my family and not allow her to sleep with us that night. Upon advice from my sister who’s a specialist in early childhood, we took her to dinner as that’s bonding time with family. We also allowed her to sleep with us cos we took the opportunity to revisit what happened that day and to “right” her from wrong.

#116 – Helper’s Off Day

So, it was my helper’s off-day and she took off in the morning. My mum agreed to come by to help me out. But S went out breakfast with his family; he brought L along. He picked mother up only after breakfast and by the time he got back; it was after 11am. I was all alone with Baby A and during that span of 3 hours, he pooped, cried (big time), had milk, dropped toys (numerous times) and played with me.

I was all exhausted by the time they returned and the first thing I said to S was, “What took you so long???????????????” Guess what his response was? S said, “How come Zena can do it and you can’t? You are a stay-at-home-mum!” Ok, that’s totally uncalled for and I was furious at his comments. I can bet my bottom dollar that he would not be able to do all that all on his own. Hmph!

#115 – Explaining Death to a 3-Year Old

L asked me if I’ve a father and a mother and I replied yes, of course. So I started explaining the family tree to her. My mother is Popo. She then asked about my father. I said my father is Gong Gong and he is in heaven. She said why? Told her that he was old, fell sick, passed away and went to heaven. She paused for a long time and we chatted about other things.

Then suddenly she said Gong Gong is in heaven. I was like….yes I know, we are talking about the same person. She asked if he’s there to meet his friends n I said yes. Then she asked who his friends are and I said his sister is one of them.

I explained further that when he passed away, he lives in our heart. Just as quickly but definitely after much considered thought, she asked when all of us die, whose heart do we live in. Coming out from a 3-year old plus girl, I think it’s pretty amazing.

She’s perceptive and is trying to understand abstract concepts. I guess death and divorce are difficult concepts for children.


#109 – Teachers’ Pet

Being an obedient and loving sweetheart, it’s not difficult to understand that L is one of her teachers’ pets in class.

During her swim class today, L’s teachers stopped by the pool-side with their afternoon class students to watch L swim a full lap. They were cheering her on! It was very nice to see that the school environment is such a supportive and positive one. The campus may be old but it more than made up in other more important ways.

#103 – New Sibling Syndrome (not again?)

Just when I thought that the new sibling syndrome was over, it happened again when I least expected it.

A couple of weeks ago (it was coincidentally the onset of the Chinese Hungry Ghost month), L started being “shy” and didn’t want to say hi to neighbours in the lift. I found that puzzling as she has always been a very sociable kid who doesn’t shy away from greeting even strangers in the lift. I didn’t want to think much of it, especially since they say that kids can sense supernatural beings that adults can’t. Then just last week, she started clinging onto me, refusing to go to her favourite English enrichment class. She would be fine until the moment I leave the classroom. She would act up by crying incessantly and say that she wants mama. Thank goodness that her teacher is well-trained in handling such situations. She swept L up and comforted her. I took a deep breath and left L in her care, turned around and left the classroom, in the midst of her deafening cries. It was heart-breaking, trust me. I stayed on outside the classroom until she stopped crying, which was just a while later and I heaved a sigh of relief before heading off for my weekly sandwich. I brushed it off as a one-off incident.

Then, it happened again at her Chinese enrichment class and again every morning at her pre-school. This is not funny alright cos it can be very tiring for a breastfeeding mum who’s suffering from sleep deprivation. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it’s just a passing phase. Really, I shouldn’t speak so soon in future…

#102 – Favouritism

Everyone has their favourite and I’m no exception. After all, L has been with us for 3 years. It helps when she’s so interactive, responsive, sociable, cheeky, funny…I can just go on and on. The fact that she genuinely loves her brother and always looking out for him makes me love her even more. For a 3.5 year old girl to behave this way, I think it’s very commendable. I don’t expect kids of this age to exhibit so much care and concern of another smaller individual who’s constantly vying for the parents’ attention. So yes, I love and adore L, over and above A at times. I know that I shouldn’t but I’m not a saint and I tend to compare the two of them.

When L was born, she was a fat baby and already very cute and chubby. It’s really hard to beat the weight of a 4-kg baby. And as she blossoms, she becomes cuter each day, always coming up with new acts to make us laugh and endear everyone to her. Her quick wit and cheekiness never fail to capture our hearts.

When Baby A was born, he was just about 300g short of L’s newborn weight but still considered a big baby. His looks are cute and his gaze was very alert, always noticing who’s around him. I must say that it’s rather unusual for newborn babies who are typically sleepy or asleep at most times. He’s not as interactive as L but as they say, boys develop slower and I’m still waiting, haha!

As Baby A grows day by day, he becomes better and better looking each day. His single eyelids became double eyelids one by one (starting with the left and then the right). It’s interesting to see the transformation of his looks, in a good way. He now has sharp features making him a very good-looking baby boy. I’m not just saying this cos I’m his mum but they are words of many others too. ;p

People always say “don’t compare your kids” but we are humans after all, aren’t we?

#100 – Baby A takes my breath away

Baby A has been getting cuter with his changing looks and lovely baby smell. His left double eye lid appeared out of a sudden one day and for a long time, it remained that way until another fine day, his right double eyelid appeared too. Now he looks more and more like me. 🙂

His temperament is vastly different from his sister. L is always cheeky, sociable and a little bit naughty. She is extremely gregarious and enjoys public attention. From time to time, she will have her moods but by and large, she’s a fine, young three-year-old.

Baby A, on the other hand, is much quieter. He enjoys one-on-one attention and his intense gaze can be very captivating. He has his occasional toothless grin/chuckle and I must say that it’s really his reserved smile that melts my heart.